Are we losing the skill of making eye contact?

I noticed that while I was trying to avoid making eye contact with a woman walking her dog, she said “good morning” with a smile and as I was busy trying to not look at her (even though she was right in front of me), it was late by the time I wanted to reply.

That let me thinking, I have been trying to avoid making eye contact or saying hi to people I don’t know, even in situations like that in which people are nearby, because I noticed that’s what people do most of the time.

However, somehow, it feels even more awkward not to say hi or do eye contact, that even that requires some effort and causes discomfort in some way. 

My point is, it requires probably the same effort, it’s just that when saying “hi” and offering a smile we feel better about ourselves and most likely the other personas well, instead of avoiding eye contact pretending we are looking to our feet or somewhere on the sky and having a few very awkward seconds, which makes no one feel better.

We tend to live in smaller places, less people per house, and somehow we tend to not even know who our neighbours are, nor we are interested. It seems we are becoming more isolated, relying too much on digital interaction by phone or text, and not enough of real physical interaction.

That very day in which the woman said “good morning” with a smile, and I didn’t have time to reply anything or give a smile back because it took me by surprise, I made a conscious decision, from now onwards, I won’t avoid eye contact, and I’ll be ready to say “good morning” to anyone I encounter on my way (especially in the mornings when going for a run).

Since doing it, I see most people avoid eye contact, which I respect, but many others are also happy to offer a smile back and some even reply with a “good morning “ as well. My decision is made, and I feel much better doing this, it feels me with positive energy and keeps me open to share that positive energy with the world, so much better than feeling those few awkward seconds. I hope this attitude lasts 😊

Experiencing that also let me understand that it is also okay if I say “good morning” to someone and I don’t hear anything back, because maybe that person is busy in their mind with many thoughts while also busy trying not to feel awkward not looking at someone who is right in front, and maybe just like me, it might take them by surprise.

And perhaps, as more people reflect on it, we recover the skill of looking to people at the face, saying “good morning “ if appropriate and offering a smile.

Sergio.

Morning reflection while running and enjoying the morning sunlight. The skill that is getting lost and we didn’t even know it was a skill that we need to work on, the art of making eye contact and saying “good morning” with a smile.