Does my partner help me bring the good out of me? Do I help my partner show the best of them?

As we humans grow up at some point we find a suitable partner and decide to stay together for as long as possible. We then create a sort of group identity and dynamics that spread in all aéreas of our lives, we go from a strong personal identity, to a strong group identity.

Partnership dynamics are complex. Partnerships create a new balance for our daily lives, we would hardly feel well if our partner is upset at us. 

We have personal important needs that are met by having a partner. That person provides support and help helping us get into our positive balance, same as we do for our partner and so on, aiming for a good feeling relationship, which has great impact on our personal mood. 

Communication, in time, becomes in one of the most important group skills in a relationship. Not understanding each other’s motivations and feelings, is almost a sure recipe for future frustration which sometimes starts building up without the other persons knowledge.

We should aim for the best Group Balance in a relationship. One that foster our personal balance, helps us be better and feel better. Providing peace, love, empathy and support. An “abusive” relationship should never be acceptable. 

Does my partner help me be in a better balance? Is our group balance a positive one? Is that balance built on shared values/ basis of well-being? Does my partner constantly bring my personal balance and peace of mind to a better level? Am I the one bringing the group balance to a lower level? 

Am I accepting behaviours in the relationship that I didn’t think I would ever do or accept? Can we really discuss about the elephant in the room and share our thoughts without fear? Do we have empathy for each other really trying to understand their reasoning and motivations?

I believe a healthy relationship is one in which each one helps bring the good in the other one. Helps us meet our needs. And helps each other get back up into the positive level of balance. 

Do we have a partner who constantly brings us down our positive level of balance? Are we the one bringing our partner down their level of balance?

Effective communication, listening and empathy go a long way. There is not perfect level of balance, we work on it daily. We should acknowledge when we are in a toxic relationship. And when we have acceptable challenges in which we can work together.

I believe there is a reason why the base of our societies are in couples, somethings with or without children. Because we all have important needs that are met through our partner, we have a need for love, connection, sexual intimacy, empathy, support, and more. 

Our group identity becomes as important as our personal identity. We should aim to have a positive one that bring the good out of each part. 

It’s a work in progress and we should work on it, not just because it’s necessary, but because it’s exciting too. If doing the journey together, why not making it better and better?