Nothing inspire us more than seeing people we know achieving what we wanted and thought not possible

Are there things you always wanted to do but the conditions were not good and you didn’t see it as viable? Did you ever saw a friend or someone you knew achieving that something?

I bet at that point your way of seeing that something changed. Suddenly it went in our minds from not possible to possible haha. I know that feeling, I have seen it many times and that’s part of why I say nothing motivates us more than that.

Just to remember a few times I’ve seen this pattern. I remember my older brother looking for the opportunities and doing all the process to go and pursue postgraduate studies overseas in a different language from our native language.

That immediately expanded the limits of what I thought possible while growing up. If my brother did learnt a foreign language and got the opportunities to study and live overseas, why wouldn’t I be able to do the same? (If it aligned with what I wanted of course).

I did learnt a foreign language too, and decided to live the experience of studying and working overseas, but I must be honest, I don’t think it would have seen that possible in my mind if I didn’t see it first hand on my brother, no one else did it before in my family so that’s not at all something in our radar. 

My older brother made the way look more possible for anyone around him wanting to do the same.

Another more recent example, working in our professional careers in a different language from our native one, and in a different country is challenging. After living overseas for a while I was quickly introduced with the “limiting beliefs” from people who I trusted. 

Many, had a limiting belief around finding a professional job, how hard it was, if not impossible, the amount of rejection, and so on. I almost gave up on this idea without even starting 🤦🏽

I adopted that limiting belief, and unconsciously, probably even helped keep sharing it. What a bad approach…, anyway, in time I learnt of many successful cases in which people were finding professional jobs, yes, in a foreign country in a foreign language. 

(Which reminds me, we should also be careful about the limiting beliefs from people close to us. Their limiting beliefs are likely to become our own too).

I knew it was possible but not many close people of mine were actually finding professional jobs. Until now, my girlfriend just decided to put the effort into it after finishing her masters degree, and guess what, she did found a nice professional job in her area of interest.

So, again, nothing like a close person doing what we thought not possible or viable. She is also making the way look more possible for me! How lucky 😃 one more close person that helps me break my limiting beliefs, showing by example.

Suddenly I see again a world of possibilities. I am learning two interesting things about it: 

One, I realise now how silly it is to give up on something we want to achieve, even before we do any effort!!! Of course the evidence will supported the limiting belief because I wasn’t doing any effort.

Two, I had another important lesson but it scaped my mind while I wrote the first one hehe, sorry, that happens sometimes.

SUMMARY AND CONCLUSIONS

The examples about my brother and girlfriend helped me a lot in breaking my own false limiting beliefs. I now have clear evidence that it is possible to do those things and if they were able to do it, why wouldn’t I?

Key ideas:

- How do we react when others achieve good stuff? Our natural initial reaction is discomfort as it means they are in some way probably getting ahead of us. If being able to past those feelings of discomfort and envy

 (natural in us humans, no need to feel bad about it as we all experience it at some point, better to be aware so we can see the positives) 

we could see that it is a blessing. The more our close people achieve wellbeing and fulfilment, the more we will naturally tend towards it as well. Meaning the whole group will go in certain positive direction.

- We all have different limiting beliefs. I mentioned two different limiting beliefs I had in the past. One about learning a foreign language living overseas and one about finding a professional job also overseas.

Once we recognise those limiting beliefs and name them for what they are, it gets easier and easier to break them when the opportunity comes. 

I like the idea of helping our close people break their own limiting beliefs, it requires empathy. We might be in the capacity to do what they probably didn’t see as possible.

- We can fuel our motivation and inspiration thanks to what those around us achieve. It’s good not to fall into comparisons because we are obviously all different with different traits, upbringings, skills, destinations, etc. But we can definitely take example from the good in others and have the humility and vulnerability to accept we can learn from it.

- Take the chance to learn especially from those ones close to you. Also, be willing to share what you know and guide others in their journey.

Sergio. Those around me are achieving what I wanted and thought not possible! Don’t panic, see it from what it is, an opportunity for learning.