You don’t get what you don’t ask for

Sounds simple and basic, yet true: You don’t get what you don’t ask for. 

I grew up in certain context in which I rarely demanded how I wanted things to be. It was more like I would adapt to the conditions and get the most out of it for me.

I always struggled to indicate what I actually wanted, “to speak my mind”. I believe it has to do with my upbringing. I would be flexible, adapt to anything, and never complain. It has a positive side, but I’ll focus now on the negative one, which I believe is related with the idea of “you don’t get what you don’t ask for”.

I kind of learnt that asking for help is a sign of weakness, and even asking for something feels like giving someone else the power to rejected us and lastly, feeling the emotional pain and embarrassment that comes with it. 

But it also meant that I would often not get what I wanted because I didn’t ask for it or expressed myself clearly.

I still see that happening often, it’s just that sometimes I am on the other side which brings me a better understanding of it. I sometimes feel like I want to help someone but unless they express their intention to ask for what they need then I won’t do it neither. 

That makes me believe that maybe, sometimes I have been very close to get what I wanted, but because I didn’t clearly ask for it then I just didn’t get it.

There are good people who sometimes don’t like to disturb others in any way so they don’t ask for what they want. Even though the other part sees them as good people and would like to help but because they don’t ask for it then they don’t get it.

There are also other not great people who don’t mind about disturbing others asking them and trying to persuade them to get what they want. Even though the other part sees them not as great people, however this last group would often get what they wanted just because they asked for it.

Which group is best?

It’s as simple as great people sometimes don’t get the good stuff, and not great people sometimes do get the good stuff. Why? Because one of them is brave enough to ask for it.

Conclusion. Be in the group of good people. Be brave and clearly ask for what you want. 

Sergio morning reflection.